You are a brave little toaster. I appreciate what could come from going alone, however, I believe I would self-implode and everyone would see the awkwardness on my face. I can certainly go places alone but not without something to read to keep to myself from feeling alone.
When I lived in Dublin, I did some solo traveling to Vienna to watch my brother play in some goodwill basketball tournament thing. I met some pretty cool people at the hostel who insisted that I come out with them. I'm better now, but back then I was so reticent to meet new people. I really appreciated that they saw me and wanted to hang, and then encouraged me to come with them.
I think all of life is really just various versions of the cafeteria at school. Sometimes you’re the new kid with nowhere to sit and sometimes you’re given the chance to invite the new kid to sit at your table. Knowing how scary it can be to not know anyone makes you more likely to reach out when you see someone in that situation. It’s really cool that they made such an impact on you.
The lunch room able is a good analogy. The thing I know I need to keep working on with myself is the idea that yes, they actually do want to invite me. I am always eager to invite new people in to a group so they can feel welcome, but when the roles are reversed I'm just like "nope, this isn't real, they don't mean it" Which I know is a fallacy in my brain, I'm working on not feeling it so deepy in my heart though
I really like your insights, especially like this little essay. Reminds me of the many times I’ve done similar and didn’t realize the depth of human nature involved. Studying in Beijing in 1983. A really alien place but I found new friends by getting out of my room. Any number of examples. Great essay.
You are a brave little toaster. I appreciate what could come from going alone, however, I believe I would self-implode and everyone would see the awkwardness on my face. I can certainly go places alone but not without something to read to keep to myself from feeling alone.
It gets easier the more you do it!
When I lived in Dublin, I did some solo traveling to Vienna to watch my brother play in some goodwill basketball tournament thing. I met some pretty cool people at the hostel who insisted that I come out with them. I'm better now, but back then I was so reticent to meet new people. I really appreciated that they saw me and wanted to hang, and then encouraged me to come with them.
I think all of life is really just various versions of the cafeteria at school. Sometimes you’re the new kid with nowhere to sit and sometimes you’re given the chance to invite the new kid to sit at your table. Knowing how scary it can be to not know anyone makes you more likely to reach out when you see someone in that situation. It’s really cool that they made such an impact on you.
The lunch room able is a good analogy. The thing I know I need to keep working on with myself is the idea that yes, they actually do want to invite me. I am always eager to invite new people in to a group so they can feel welcome, but when the roles are reversed I'm just like "nope, this isn't real, they don't mean it" Which I know is a fallacy in my brain, I'm working on not feeling it so deepy in my heart though
I really like your insights, especially like this little essay. Reminds me of the many times I’ve done similar and didn’t realize the depth of human nature involved. Studying in Beijing in 1983. A really alien place but I found new friends by getting out of my room. Any number of examples. Great essay.
Thank you so much for saying that. It means so much to me to get such kind feedback.
I can’t imagine studying in Beijing in a pre-internet age. You must have had some extremely cool experiences!